Motivation!!!!!!

Well today I decided I really need to get a jump on blogging as I am a first timer after all "I can't inspire people if I don't write". As I sit here shifting through my thoughts and sorting all the details out on how I want to place everything and what I want to write about....It dawned on me that I lack motivation. I have all the makings for it but trying to connect mind and body is just not working. How do I get back to that mind & body connection?

Maybe I haven't yet slayed all my inner demons as I have thought. I still feel blocked and cloudy. Like my mind is hazed and confused. I always had a passion for writing and I remember a once brief time when the words would just flow from me like a waterfall and spilled onto my pages. Where has that gone? I don't recall ever loosing it...misplaced it perhaps? It is funny how life sometimes gives you gifts and suddenly they go and you never even realize you lost it in the first place.

I knew something was missing when I tried to start on my novel again a few months ago that has been 4 years in the making now, but due to my lack of confidence and being the most critical on myself I have revised and rewrote it many times over. When I opened my word press I was completely blank. The story was still fresh in my mind but the waterfall has since dried up. Must be those damn beavers. Have to find the damn and blow the thing up. Without that I have no muse, no flow, no articulate motivation what so ever. 

I have motivation to workout, and eat write but WHERE'S MY INNER MOTIVATION gone to? How can I incorporate everything I want to accomplish and achieve and stay sane at the same time? Maybe I am only wired to focus on one endeavor then move onto the next. If that is the case I am going to be doing this and never get it complete until I DIE. I can't have that, I just wont. Somehow, someway I have to find that click to make everything snap into place and work together like clockwork, all together in one harmonious rhythm. If I could feel like that again maybe I wouldn't be as ditzy as I am now.

Well Nuff Said..................